Life is a mystery. Life is a concoction of both really bad experience somewhat bad and good moments and happy times. You decide which ones you keep in your memory.
One moment in time you are in love,happy and careless about what people say, the other moment out of respect from the people you care about even those that made you neglect others. Which of these should harbour in you memory?
One time there is a total loss of the wonderful memories that people share. Completely erased by little less significant happenings. The everyday good things that bound relationships together just fades and disappears into thin air. Then life is an empty shell. Then men and some ladies try alcohol as I did. Then it doesn’t work.
The diversity of a society is meant to make it stronger. The qualities and strengths of a community are intended to mitigate the shortcomings and weaknesses of the other community. People are stronger together.
It is like a marriage. There are times when women lose that urge for sex. And then there are times when they realise that they want to want like the New York Times puts it.
They strangely and aggressively react to any suggestive conversation that appears to be guided towards intimacy. And then, if not considerate, people fall out. Those that one time was wildly in love. There is hate after that. Then hate grows into something worse, and marriages break. Then there is divorce.
Woman suffer more at the initial stages of a broken relationship, and then they slowly move on. Men don’t. I have never moved on from my failures in the past. I struggle to accept that there isn’t any love now. But I keep saying, it is my choice. I have to live with my decision.
She says, “I don’t care anymore. I don’t need you anymore. Please just leave. Leave with everything you came with this house. I will start over again.” I see, feel and smell frustration in her voice and tone. She is making a mistake, and she probably doesn’t want that. And she was ranting spraying saliva all over.
And I say, “I can’t leave. I am empty without family. I am willing to stay put. I will forego all the things I want. I will be less selfish. I will live with you the rest of my life because you are my choice and I have to live by my choices.”
Some of my choices have become my weaknesses. I have been active enough for years to withstand my personal feeling. I never looked at women lustfully. But I do now. I had this thick skin buoyed by fear of being rejected not to mess with female friends.