I spent the weekend on a golf course. I wasn’t golfing, my friend Kisevu was. So I walked with him for hours but I couldn’t grasp anything. Kisevu played against his friends, who were all members at the golf club. Most of them were my fathers age and I could speak to one after the other in low tones as we moved from one end to another. Along the way, one gives up and says he wont finish the course. Kisevu tells me that he is the most efficient golfer in class, He knows the rules and everything in the books concerning golf. Though he was the second worst of all golfers I saw on the course that day, if I were to rate them.
later in the evening with spent quality time in the tents chatting, again for hours. We could move from table to table networking. Sunday was father’s day, I’m a father but I kept thinking about my father. Although I don’t need my father now, because he has never been there, I kept thinking about him. You know why, his mother reached out to my mother. My father’s mother (paternal grandmother if it makes sense) wants to talk.
To talk what? I spent entire three weeks on the road on a filthy uncomfortable bus to try and locate him. School fees had become a challenge and life in general was becoming unbearable. I had a genuine need to go to school. I was not the best but I had the belief that I can make it. Along the way I met people I never knew they existed. Uncles, aunties, cousins and so many more who kept on blaming me for conforming to urban life and forgetting people in the village. A village I had never spent even a month.
He comes, buys me a half a litre of Fanta orange and promises to get in touch after the family meeting to discuss me and he never gets in touch, ten years. I tried to reach out but he was never interested. I struggle and go through high school in the hands of well-wishers, I go through college again in the hands or charities and then I finish college, I get another well-wisher I start graduate degree and I am almost done, then he reaches out by asking me difficult questions. I shut him down and he never bothered to contact me.
Then few days before fathers day, my mom calls. She says that my fathers mother called her. She wanted to know where I was and whether I had settled. She further went on to suggest I go see him. My mother seems okay with the idea but still I am sure I comprehend. I fixed so many things in my life that needed my parent. I fixed my own birthday and names. I later learn that I am wrong.
I take a deep sigh and then ask my mother to give me time. meanwhile I told her that she stops investing energy in the conversation. She agrees not to follow up the issue unless they follow up. The only thing that came to my mind was forgiveness. Every one deserves a second chance. i would want a second chance if I messed up. So I will tel my father:
“happy fathers day. I am a father now. I deserve a happy fathers day too”