I told Elizabeth that my wife earns more than I do. She receives double my salary, and I am okay with that.
“Let me help you, Moses; Women are the most useless spender on earth. I am a woman so listen….” She says, her tone clearly denotes caution.
I move to edge of the seat. I look at her straight in the eye.
She has always baffled me with her ideas about how to relate as a couple and why men should take charge of the house. She once told me that all the money a woman earn should be owned by the man, the woman should ask for money from her man. I sometimes find her controversial.
She doesn’t wear trousers even if the pants are designed for women. She says trousers are for men. Ironically she shaves her hair, and I mean the hair on her head. Because she likes her hair short. Short hair is okay, but short haircuts that make her head look like mine…mmmmmmh nuh! She is thunderous, she doesn’t whisper, even on the ferry where thousand of people cross daily. I don’t think she can control that. She doesn’t have secrets, and that’s why naturally shouts when excited. Imagine when she is angry!!!.
So I moved at the edge of the seat to get a lecture from an experienced mother of three who is a practicing accountant. She is efficient with cash on her hand.
“Women are the most faithful people when they have committed to do something. When they borrow, they are truthful. Kiva borrowers are mostly women. In fact, Kiva prioritizes women and rejoices when women succeed through its micro-lending website. But the moment a woman gets an extra shilling at her disposal; things will ultimately change.” She continues with her loud voice. She realizes keen and laughs out loud.
“So what do I do,” I asked anxiously
“Find a way to engage her money. make sure that she does not have extra at her disposal.” She answered.
I didn’t know how. So I wanted to know because I might face the same shortly.
“ Find a way Moses, Let her start a project. Let her invest her money elsewhere which will benefit her in future. Then allow her to ask you for money. She will wisely use that. If you don’t this, She has her money at her disposal and still asks for your money. That marks the beginning of chaos in your marriage.” She continued.
“ I am experienced wife. I work full time, and my husband earns. I spend all my money, and I don’t how and then keep asking for fare to work every morning. Sometimes I am ashamed of myself. So what we did as a couple is I take a loan, buy someplace and start a poultry business. This ensured that my disposable cash is minimal, but there is a running project I put money in.” She sighed and finished off. She expected a question, but I did not ask.
Help her invest the money in a fund. This is never going to be easy, and you are likely to fight. My colleague Madeline just confessed.
Make sure you some money to take you through the month. She will ask you for money whether you like it or not. Unless yours is unique. I have one in the house.
Ask her to take a loan that will reduce her disposable income. Let her pay from her salary. This way you will control how she spends.
But there are good wives out there. Don’t think all women are the same. Some are brilliant, and they will shut you down.
I am inexperienced in marriage counseling and I have personal struggles which I share here. Learn the best tricks and apply if it doesn’t work stop and look for the next.